I have always been driven to achieve and have always competed only with myself in pursuit of musical and academic excellence. Although achieving my goals was always the icing on the sweetest cake imaginable, the journey toward an elusive greatness was what satisfied and fulfilled me the most. One of the greatest professional accomplishments of my life, at least in recent history, was becoming an author. My love of writing was born in graduate school, where I was required to do months of intense research on subjects that enhanced my musical development. I was extremely fortunate to have an outstanding professor that critiqued my writing skills and demonstrated how to be more creative with the written word. His books, which were published by Oxford University Press, represented exemplary achievement for me and set the standard for my work as a professor.

After sitting in end-of-quarter faculty meetings and listening to sabbatical projects for over a decade, I decided the time was right for me to pen my own text. I wished to challenge myself and get faculty development credit for writing a meaningful work of art. I chose the title Mirror of the Soul: A Flutist’s Reflections for my book because it is a reference to the precious metal silver because of its extraordinary reflective ability. I have always been drawn to the luster of silver jewelry, and my husband and I wear silver wedding bands as our symbol of eternal commitment. I have always played a silver flute because it has the purest sound and can best reflect my heart and soul. In the words of my mentor, silver instruments “ring” or “shimmer” unlike gold or any other metal. Silver is the best conductor of heat and electricity on the periodic table, and its chemical symbol Ag, is derived from the Latin argentum, which means white light and shining. A flicker of white light is a beacon in the darkness. It is of the highest vibrational energy, contains all the wavelengths of the visible spectrum and all colors of the rainbow are present in it. It is no wonder that a sliver instrument like my flute can produce such sweetness and purity of sound.

Before I began writing my book, I had selected music I had wanted to include on an accompanying CD and pieces I wished to analyze in the text itself. I originally intended it to solely be a music treatise, however, once I selected the music, my project took on a life of its own. It evolved into a work that would solidify my faith in the God who created me. I would discuss the five roles of Jesus and then demonstrate how the works of scientists, artists and musicians mirrored the highest ideals of the Creator. It was nothing short of miraculous how just labeling the titles of the first five chapters allowed the words of said chapters to flow so effortlessly. Jesus was indeed with me throughout my project. All of the information I needed magically appeared at the perfect time for a literary adventure that would consume all of my free time for the better part of a year. Ideas entered my mind at every moment of the day – while I was practicing the flute, walking around the track, exercising with my toning cord, cooking, sleeping, reading, watching TV or a movie. I was energized and in awe of the process, so much so, that I was slightly disappointed after I typed the last word. That enriching chapter of my life was over, and little did I know the interesting path my life would take…

Hopes, dreams and achievements have constantly been on my mind for the past several months, especially during this pandemic shutdown. I have been fortunate in that the virus has not claimed anyone close to me, but it has completely wreaked havoc on my sanity. My work has always been synonymous with my identity for my entire adult life and having to adapt to this “new normal” has been way beyond challenging. As a professor and as a private music teacher, I prefer human contact to digital communication. Actively engaging with students energizes me. Although for many years, I have posted lecture notes online and emailed students regarding projects and exams, I have always taught private instrumental lessons in-person. In the past year, I added two students to my private studio – one flute student and one piano student – and they are the finest people I have ever taught. My piano student is a 73-year-old rock and roll lover who has been working on one Billy Joel hit after another. She wants to keep her mind sharp and maintain her dexterity as she ages. Her enthusiasm mirrors that of my college students, and in that respect, she is very young-at-heart. I adore our lessons together. My flute student is a senior in high school. Although I have taught high school students of all ability levels for nearly 30 years, she is one of the few with technical ability to perform the repertoire adequately. Throughout the fall of 2019, we worked diligently on the Faure Fantasie, which was the required piece for her district band auditions. I was ecstatic when I saw her sitting on the stage at the District 11 Band concert in February. We had just begun working on a piece for her senior recital in March when the shutdown occurred. I have been mourning that weekly human contact with my students.

I have felt lost throughout the past three months because I am accustomed to achievement and have not been able to live up to the standards I have set for myself. My husband has told me I am filled with doom and gloom. I get so upset with myself because I know better. I have walked in blind faith through much of my life with glorious results and have written a book about the miraculous power of faith in God, but doubt often consumes me now. I know that Mother Teresa was filled with doubt at many times in her life, so I am in good company, but it has been so difficult to be hopeful and optimistic. In addition to missing my students, I have not seen my family in over four months. I understand that it is for everyone’s own good, but during that time, my baby nephew and precious Godson learned to walk. Four months is a long time in a baby’s development, and there are so many magical moments – all missed. My dad has been fighting the good fight against Parkinson’s, and he is doing very well, but I want to be able to be a part of his really good days. He has been a type A personality and the most productive working person I have ever known. It scares me to imagine the type of havoc this disease could wreak on someone who always told me he would “die with his boots on.” He has had glaucoma for nearly 40 years as well and was informed last week that little more can be done to stop the progression of that disease, too. I want to be able to see my dad, but more importantly, I want him to be able to see me. Time is ticking away. To keep in contact with my family, I have been Face-Timing my nephew nearly every day, and my sister sends me pictures and videos, however, it is not the same as getting those precious baby hugs and kisses. My dad calls me twice a day, too!

The miracle of technology has been essential to continue working in these unprecedented times, but in my humble opinion, it is both a blessing and a curse – very much like the abilities of Tony Shalhoub’s Monk. I have been at family dinners where certain members have been glued to their phones while seated at the table with others. I suppose the digital connection is more entertaining than the personal connection, but these devices have a knack for creating zombies, and I am just as guilty as those of whom I speak. I need my devices to remain in touch with my family and students, but too much screen time stifles my creativity – evidence of the blessing and the curse. When all of this is combined with hypersensitive hygiene practices, we are essentially living the life of Adrian Monk – for better or for worse.

My husband and I have managed to get out as much as possible. We have created a stunning yard by planting beautiful roses, calla lilies and azalea bushes. The sight of those flowers centers me. We have been walking around our neighborhood and in nearby parks, and it is refreshing to absorb the sun and fresh air. We grab takeout several times per week, and we have even sharpened our Atari 2600 skills, particularly Challenge Baseball and Space Invaders. We have found our silver lining amidst all the chaos outside our doors. I have been posting flute videos on my social media pages and have thus felt like I have been relieving some of my professional anxiety. Music can indeed soothe the savage beast. I began with a 5-day Native American Flute Share, and after receiving some positive feedback, I began recording pieces on my silver flute that were near and dear to my heart. I even managed to post some music that was supposed to be included on my accompanying CD to Mirror of the Soul. I updated my website and included these 2020 pandemic videos on one of my pages: https://tdevizia.wixsite.com/website.

Many of the musicians I know were also posting videos in order to contribute some beauty to an ugly situation. A few weeks into recording, I discovered that Aleksey Igudesman challenged flutists to record and post videos of themselves playing his Magical Spells for Solo Flute. I quickly learned four of the ten spells and posted them on Facebook and LinkedIn with animated video backgrounds. All of this music can be heard on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVYDy-mE-Zr8d6yXP3JlHGw?view_as=subscriber. Creating these videos has alleviated much of my anxiety, but a huge silver lining magically appeared last week.

On Sunday, I got a message from the Italian composer, Fabio Mengozzi. He had heard my Magical Spells videos and wanted to know if I would be interested in recording his music because his country was completely shutdown after so many devastating losses (https://www.facebook.com/FabioMengozziCompositore/). Online performances of his music were all he could create for the time being. I listened to some pieces he scored for clarinet, harp and English horn and was tremendously moved by his heartfelt melodies, so I enthusiastically requested that he send me his flute music. He told me he had to compose a piece for solo flute, which he would dedicate to me if I agreed to play it. I was so flattered and eagerly agreed to collaborate with him. Within 24 hours, he composed Oasi for solo flute and I recorded it the day I received it. The melody was absolutely stunning and transported me to a state of spiritual bliss. His music greatly helped my healing process, and I was able to help bring greater awareness to his art. He is the consummate artist and professional. Please listen to the piece he wrote for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPhwUX2byac. Once I uploaded his music to YouTube, I decided to upload all of my videos, including the Native American Flute recordings. The very next day, Fabio contacted me again and asked if I would be interested in recording a piece for Native American Flute because he had seen all of my videos. I was flabbergasted and was eager to collaborate with him a second time. He sent me the piece the next day and dedicated it to me. It is entitled Aria Dell’Aria for Native American Flute. The title of the piece is a pun. In the words of the composer, “Aria of aria is a vocal piece but also an air element.” This composition touches me deeply with its haunting beauty, so please listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xwYLply6pI. My heart overflows with gratitude for this miraculous turn of events in the past week. I have been on Cloud 9!

Last week was also the graduation week of my senior high school flutist who had attended Dock Mennonite Academy for four years. I watched all of the festivities, including her senior recital, senior speech, a Baccalaureate service and the graduation ceremony. In viewing all of her excitement, I was reminded of a silver lining amongst all this chaos once again. I especially loved the Baccalaureate and the graduation. At the end of the Baccalaureate, all the seniors lit votive candles and floated them across the campus pond. My thoughts returned to being a beacon of light in the darkness, a white light that mirrors the magical reflective ability of silver or argentum. All the students were able to participate in an outdoor graduation – another silver lining! Before the graduation commencement speaker delivered his speech, the school choir sang Mark Miller’s I Believe in the Sun. It is a beautiful song set to the words that were discovered “on the wall of a cellar in Cologne where a number of Jews hid themselves for the entire duration of World War II.” The text is as follows:

I believe in the sun even when it is not shining;
I believe in love even when feeling it not;
I believe in God even when he is silent.

The words of this song perfectly reflect our current lives. We have to believe in hope and light at the end of the tunnel and that God is with us always. We need to be that beacon of light for each other and access the God inside our hearts. The commencement speaker was unlike any other I have heard in that he was very down-to-earth, laid back and humorous. His humor very much reminded me of Redd Fox’s Fred G. Sanford. My brother and I loved Sanford and Son, and I own every episode on DVD! It was refreshing to listen to his words and video interaction with the kids as he encouraged them to be excited about their accomplishments and hopeful about the future. He said there was no reason to feel any guilt for being joyful high school graduates. What I took away most from his speech was that one must be filled with light to be the light. A joyful heart knows no bounds. The students were encouraged to reflect on a bible verse throughout the weeks leading up to graduation: “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you. (Deuteronomy 31:8). As I reflect on my anxiety over the last few months, my silver lining was the miraculous message in the form of a high school graduation ceremony. Fear is the absence of love. I must choose love…

I finally return to when I completed my book, Mirror of the Soul, and achieved the greatest accomplishment of my personal life. Once the writing was over, I had some free time to devote to me. Since I am a shy loner who wanted to meet my life partner, I decided to try eHarmony for the third or fourth time. I signed up and within two months, I met my husband – my soul mate, the love of my life. He walked into my life as my book was going into production, and I quickly discovered he was the mirror of my soul on every level. I met my silver lining while writing about the silver flute I use as a means to connect with the Divine. It was a truly unexpected soul mate relationship. Congratulations to all 2020 graduates, and I hope everyone looks for that miraculous silver lining amongst the clouds of doubt!