For years, Valentine’s Day was just another day for me to observe the public displays of affection I witnessed as I walked through the city of Philadelphia on my way home from work. Flowers, balloons and teddy bears abounded on vendors’ trucks on every corner, and owners of fine restaurants on Rittenhouse Square set up outdoor heaters and tables around the perimeters of their businesses for couples who wished to dine outdoors. For 44 years, I was single and never had to worry about cards, candy or gifts. I bought my own jewelry (lots of it), cooked my own dinner and, on occasion, treated myself to a movie, where I was oftentimes the only person sitting in the theater. I did, however, manage to get a certain degree of satisfaction from Valentine’s week because it always seemed to fall in the sixth week of our quarter, and, for my Music Appreciation students, that meant having to endure my 4-hour opera lecture. As a student myself, I found it extremely difficult to absorb any opera at all, but after playing in the pit orchestra for Bel Canto Opera for over a decade, I realized that opera arias were some of the most beautiful music in the classical music literature. I loved being able to weave my flute parts into the solos the singers were performing. My intuition, instincts and sensitivities as a musician astronomically developed as I listened to the beauty surrounding me. It made such an impression on me that I was eager to share my enthusiasm with others, specifically twenty-something commercial artists.

My opera week lecture always covers 300 years of opera in one sitting. We watch select YouTube videos from composers of different eras and analyze the productions from an audio, visual and philosophical perspective in terms of music, plot, costumes and set design. Although the nineteenth century is my favorite era, I could never neglect the great music of Mozart, who was truly in his element when he wrote operas. His music reflects his connection to the divine, and the plots he chose display a remarkable understanding of the human condition. My favorite Mozart opera is The Magic Flute, and I thoroughly dissect its plot in my book, Mirror of the Soul: A Flutist’s Reflections, however, the Mozart opera I always select to analyze in a classroom of artists is Cosi Fan Tutte. It’s the perfect opera for Valentine’s week. The plot is so relevant because it focuses on relationships and trusting our own hearts rather than allowing well-meaning interference from others.

The story revolves around two couples; two soldiers are dating a set of sisters. In scene one, the two soldiers are conversing with an elderly gentleman named Don Alfonso. The soldiers sing of their love for their sweethearts, who are hopelessly devoted to them. Don Alfonso, however, believes that women are fickle and are incapable of remaining faithful to their lovers. Although the men defend the fidelity of their partners, Don Alfonso manages to plant a seed of doubt about their ladies. He convinces them to test the love and strength of their relationships with a diabolical scheme. The soldiers agree to participate, and Don Alfonso visits the sisters to inform them that their soldier boyfriends are being called off to the battlefield. The women are devastated by the news since they are expecting marriage proposals in the immediate future. There is an elaborate goodbye scene, where the women tell their boyfriends that if they must leave, they might as well “plunge their swords into their hearts.” The soldiers bid their ladies farewell but return a short time later disguised as Albanians so that they are unrecognizable to their partners. The women resist the Albanians until they go so far as to drink fake poison and bring in a fake doctor who pronounces the men close to death. At this point, each woman falls for the opposite man. They later become engaged to the “Albanians” and begin to plan a wedding. As the wedding plans are fully underway, the soldier boyfriends return, and are astonished to discover that their sweethearts are engaged to Albanians. The women realize they have been duped, and the opera ends very ambiguously, with the women admitting they still have feelings for their soldier boyfriends.

I love discussing this story because the human condition has not changed since the eighteenth century. The way we express ourselves changes, but we still experience the same feelings as those over two hundred years ago. How many of us have had well-meaning friends or family members plant seeds of doubt about our partners, and we have been unwilling to trust our own hearts? How many people test the love of their sweethearts by asking them to prove that they love them? It’s human nature. It is not only difficult to have faith in others, but it can be extremely difficult to have faith in ourselves. Must we see before we believe, or can we believe that the divine has our backs even if there is no physical evidence of our prayers being answered? We walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). This is easy to understand intellectually but not so easy to feel in our hearts and souls. Can we look for the miracle beyond the chaos?

It took me 44 years to find my soul mate. I always hoped to find that one special man with whom I could share my life, my hopes and my dreams. I never knew how it would happen, especially since I spent so many nights at home alone. Love found me when I was working on projects I loved. I completed my book, Mirror of the Soul (a true labor of love), and I met my perfect mirror. My husband met me when he was 46 and said he had not believed in soul mates until I came into his life. When we were getting our marriage license, the clerk could not believe that neither one of us had ever been married or ever had any kids. We are both late bloomers with childlike hearts. We believe in real magic. For Valentine’s Day, my husband bought me a Thomas Kinkade Peter Pan gallery wrap. Thomas Kinkade is the “painter of light.” I love his works, especially his Disney series. Peter Pan is the boy who “never grew up.” It’s a perfect piece for someone with a childlike heart and a constant reminder to exude childlike joy and happiness. I gave him a Jim shore Tigger collectible. Tigger is holding a heart balloon – a symbol of pure love and joy! Randy Pausch, in his book, The Last Lecture, said you can choose to be a Tigger or an Eeyore. Although it can be difficult, choosing to be a Tigger in an Eeyore world can spark miracles.

Lately, I have been surrounded by the miraculous. On 1 February 2019, my sister gave birth to her first child, a son. She had been trying to have a baby for the past 13 years of her marriage but had 4 miscarriages and a series of unsuccessful heartbreaking IVF procedures. After the fourth miscarriage, she was told that perhaps she couldn’t carry a baby to term because of all the chemotherapy she endured as a child. For whatever reason, the doctors didn’t mention her history as being an impediment to the IVF before she endured numerous procedures. With a series of allopathic failures under her belt, she and her husband took the holistic route and consulted a nutritionist. Through kinesiology, the nutritionist helped her detox her body and prescribed some vitamins to improve her overall health. Two weeks after her consultation with the nutritionist, she got pregnant naturally. She followed a special diet and had an easy pregnancy. AJ was born after ten and a half hours of labor – the worst pain of her life. She screamed for an epidural, but the doctor had a rough time administering it because she had so much scar tissue from the spinal taps she had as a childhood leukemia patient. The epidural didn’t work as hoped, but she did deliver naturally – an epic feat for a 41- year-old woman. Her son AJ is absolutely perfect – a true miracle, an angel. I can better believe in miracles and love at first sight after meeting my nephew. Someone who nearly died from leukemia three times, endured chemotherapy and radiation and injected hormones into her body on a daily basis as part of IVF finally had a baby the old-fashioned way! As an elementary student, my sister never believed she’d see herself graduate from high school or college, get married or deliver a healthy baby. We celebrated each precious milestone, with the birth of her baby being the sweetest reward ever. There is a lot to be said for the pain of persistence and the triumph of belief. Faith creates miracles, and love makes the world go around. I hope your Valentine’s Day was filled with love and joy!